Jokes that would make you laugh

A  man with his pair of over sized slippers was sun basking sitting on the top of staircase…..A smart woman climbed up the staircase and when reached near the man found out his penis dangling without a underwear…..without the moments hesitation the woman shouted….Oh !!! what a size……

1. the man replied tapping his feet ….YA   it is NO.9.
2. Once a district health officier visited a remote village to demonstrate how to use condom during sex to the farmers in that village. He demonstrated in such a way that almost all villagers present there understood. He explained that condom can prevent pregnancy and also many STDs like HIV/AIDS.
   After few months, a villager from that village came to visit the health officer.
   Villager: Sir, I used the condom in the way you demonstrated but still my wife got pregnant.What can I do?
   Health officer was bit confused and did not know what to say for a moment.
   Health Officer: Show me how did you use.Health officer gave him a condom to demonstrate how he used during sex.Then as demonstrated by health officer, the farmer opened the condom and put it on his thumb.
   Villager: This is how I used. After sex I took it out from my thumb and then threw it.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Once a Buddhist nun visited a doctor as she was having some  urinal problem. After collecting a urine sample from her,  doctor asked her to come for result after some times.
   As informed by doctor she went to collect her result. Doctor picked up the result of some other woman whose name was as same as nun’s name.
   With little hesitation, Doctor said,” I am sorry to tell you that you are pregnant.”
   The nun trying to hide her blushes moved close to the doctor and wispired softly,” can brinjal make girls pregnant?”.
   Note:Monks and Nuns are abstained from sexual contact.
4. Husband, wife and their little son were having lunch together. The wife had just returned from summer holiday. Their little son started the conversation.
5. Son:    Mother, when you were away and one day when I returned from school I saw father and Aunty Kim in the bedroom.  
   Mother: Then what did you see?
   Son: Then they kissed and their cloths start to fly out of the bed room.
   Mother: Then what happened?
   Son: Then they climbed on the bed.
   Mother: Then what happened?
   Little boy: Then they started doing what you and Uncle Sam did last summer.

Jokes that would make you laugh

I am gonna share 5 dirty but funny jokes here.  You might have heard some of them. If you have not, enjoy them. They are really really funny.

1. Teacher: why are you  late?
   Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull. 
   Teacher(Angrily): Can’t your dad to it?
   Student: No, only BULL can do it.
   
2. Boy and girl of class 2 asked     teacher “Can kids of our age have kids?”
   Teacher replied” NO Never!!”
    Boy said to girl: “See I told you not to worry!!!!”
3. A woman married a one legged man.
   She wrote to her mother:  “My husband only has  ONE FOOT”.
   Her Mother replied: “You are lucky,your papa has  ONLY 5 INCHES”
4. In a practical Exam
   Examiner showed legs of bird and said: “Tell the bird’s name”
   Student: I dont know.
   Exminer: U r failed.Wats your name?
   Student: You see my legs, and tell me what is my name…
5. Doctor: Do you watch your husband face during sex?Lady: I did once and he looked very angry.
   Doctor: Why?
   Lady: Because he was watching from the window.
6. Two girls are having shower together.
   First one ask: Hey, your pussy is so  clean how?
   Second, one replied: stupid have u ever seen grass on the busy road.
   
7. A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like.?
   Mama dog said: “Your dad came from behind; I do not have the chance to  see his face carefull.
8. Boy(politely): What is there in between your legs?
   Girl(angrily) :Hell! Then what is  there in between your  legs?
   Boy(laughing): Sinner… Who wants to go to hell.

Remember the name- Fort Minor

Dedicated to all of you

[Intro]

You ready?! Lets go!

Yeah, for those of you that want to know what we're all about

It's like this y'all (c'mon!)

[Chorus - Mike Shinoda]

This is 10% luck,

20% skill,

15% concentrated power of will,

5% pleasure,

50% pain,

And 100% reason to remember the name!

Mike!

[Mike]

He doesn't need his name up in lights

He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic

He feels so unlike everybody else, alone

In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him

But fuck em, he knows the code

It's not about the salary

It's all about reality and making some noise

Makin' the story - makin sure his clique stays up

That means when he puts it down Tak's pickin it up! let's go!

[Tak]

Who the hell is he anyway?

He never really talks much

Never concerned with status but still leavin them star struck

Humbled through opportunities given to him despite the fact

That many misjudge him because he makes a livin from writin raps

Put it together himself, now the picture connects

Never askin for someone's help (help), to get some respect

He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach

And now it all unfolds, the skill of an artist

[Ryu]

It's just 20% skill

80% beer, Be

a 100% clear cause Ryu is ill

Who would've thought he'd be the one to set the west in flames

And I heard him wreckin with The Crystal Method, "Name Of The Game"

Came back dropped Megadef, took 'em to church

I like bleach man, Ryu had the stupidest verse!

This dude is the truth, now everybody givin him guest spots

His stock's through the roof, I heard he fuckin with S. Dot!

[Chorus - Mike Shinoda]

This is 10% luck,

20% skill,

15% concentrated power of will,

5% pleasure,

50% pain,

And 100% reason to remember the name!

[Ryu]

They call him Ryu The Sick

And he's spittin fire and Mike

Got him out the dryer he's hot

Found him in Fort Minor with Tak

Been a fuckin annihilist porcupine

He's a prick, he's a cock

The type woman want to be with, them rappers hope he get shot

Eight years in the makin, patiently waitin to blow

Now the record with Shinoda's takin over the globe

He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope

You wont believe the kind of shit that comes out of this kid's throat!

Tak!

[Tak]

He's not your everyday on the block

He knows how to work with what he's got

Makin his way to the top

He often thinks its a common artist's name

People keep askin him was it given at birth

Or does it stand for an acronym?

No, he's livin proof, Got him rockin' the booth

He'll get you buzzin quicker than a shot of vodka with juice (juice)

Him and his crew are known around as one of the best

Dedicated to what they do to give a 100%

[Mike]

Forget Mike, Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard

It seems like he's never got time

Because he writes every note and he writes every line

And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind

It's like a design is written in his head every time

Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme

And those motherfuckers he runs with, those kids that he signed?

Ridiculous, without even trying, how do they do it?!

[Chorus - Mike Shinoda]

This is 10% luck,

20% skill,

15% concentrated power of will,

5% pleasure,

50% pain,

And 100% reason to remember the name!

This is 10% luck,

20% skill,

15% concentrated power of will,

5% pleasure,

50% pain,

And 100% reason to remember the name!

[Outro - Mike Shinoda]

Yeah! Fort Minor

M. Shinoda

Styles of Beyond -

Ryu! Takbir! Machine Shop!